Dear Pastor Charles: I am eleven years old and I hope you can help me with my problem. My mom and dad are divorced. My dad has a new wife and has moved away. They have children of their own and don’t want me. My mom has a new boyfriend and they don’t want me either. I live with my grandma. She loves me and takes me to church every Sunday. I like church, but I want to know why God won’t make mom and dad love me? It hurts so please help me Pastor. I will do what you say. Your Friend.
You have asked me the most difficult question that I have ever been asked. I don’t know if I can give you a real good answer to your problem but I will try my best.
First of all I want you to know that you are not alone in the world. Almost half of the children in our country today have divorced parents. Many of them are being raised by loving grandmothers like yours. It is clear to me that your grandmother loves you very much or she would not be taking you to church every Sunday. I thank God for your grandmother. Without her, you would be in very big trouble. What I want you to do is to tell your grandmother how much you love her and thank her for taking good care of you and for taking you to church on Sunday. Then I want you to thank God in your prayers for her.
I am going to tell you something now that I want you to always remember. No matter what happens to you and no matter how bad things get, GOD LOVES YOU! Jesus loves you more than anyone else can. In fact, He said in Matthew 18:5-6 “And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.” Jesus loves you so much that He even says that we adults must change and become like you in order to get into heaven, Matthew 18:3, “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” Just imagine that, my young friend, heaven is going to be totally filled up with children. It’s going to be great fun.
When you think about your mom and dad, you need to remember that they are only human beings and all human beings make mistakes. They really didn’t start out with the intention of hurting you, they just got so involved in their own problems that they didn’t take your feelings into account when they made their decision to divorce. In order for you to understand this, you are going to need to be wiser than your parents now. Always remember that you are NOT the cause of their problems, you are the innocent victim of your parents’ inability to get along with each other. God hates divorce. He said it so many times in the Bible. God wanted your mom and dad to stay married to each other for life. It is definitely not God’s fault that your mom and dad broke the promises that they made to each other when they were married.
The best prayer that you can pray for your mom and dad is that God will open their eyes and allow them to see that their actions are hurting you. Pray that God will save them and help them to become like little children, then they will be able to see what they are doing to you. Don’t stop loving them just because they are hurting you.
You know, I wish that I could fix all of the problems of hurting children in the whole world and especially yours. As I was reading my Bible and praying about your problem, I came across some verses that gave me a lot of comfort. I hope they help you as much as they helped me. Psalm 27:10 says, “Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me” and Psalm 68:5 says that God is “a father to the fatherless.” This means that God keeps you even closer to Him than someone who has both parents.
Accept what God has said and talk to Him. Tell Him about your problems as you would your own mother and father. I promise you that He will listen to you and will help you in ways you won’t believe. As a Pastor, my love goes out to you and I will keep you in my prayers every day. May God Bless you and keep you.
Your friend always,